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StewartM
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| Joined: | Oct 31st, 2005 |
| Location: | Chicken Coop |
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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2007 06:13 pm |
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I'm not much for chocolates or M&M plain or on a salad (aka Rabbit food)....but if you add a couple of pounds of Bacon Bits....Now thats a salad.....oh yea add one jar of thousand island to that..... Now thats healthy....
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Lacka
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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2007 06:16 pm |
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Do you know why they make artificial tree storage bags with wheels? I didn’t either, but this Christmas I found out why. They are a must have.
I put my tree up the weekend of Thanksgiving. Purchased last year, after the holiday. I snap the three pieces together and we were ready to decorate. Little Lacka put almost all of the ornaments on the tree while I unpacked and placed decorations throughout the house. Remember that I said he put almost all of the decorations on the tree. That will be important later.
A few days ago I was really tired of looking at the tree so I decide that it is time. That tree is coming down. The little Lacka got new X box games for Christmas so he is as useless as a screen door in a submarine. The oldest Lacka has left me for an Outer Banks fishing trip. It is just me, taking down the tree. How hard can it be, right? Two hours tops.
I open the attic steps and I hear the little Lacka chuckle and say “mom be careful, there is no washing machine to break your fall”. Hee hee …. This is one of their favorite things to say to me because of that one little time at my other house that I fell out of the attic and landed on the washing machine.
I should have known something when I get the boxes out of the attic and I begin looking on the floor underneath the tree for ornaments, you know there are always a few that fall off the tree. Humm, no ornaments. Get my box ready and take several ornaments off and place them in the box. I take a few more off and notice that this is not as easy as I thought it would be. I look closer at the ornaments. OK you know those little wire hooks that you use to put the ornaments on the branches? The little Lacka has wrapped them around the branches. Not once but multiple times, as long as the wire was long. If I ever need anyone to batton down the hatches, he is my man. It took about 20 minutes to get 6-8 ornaments off the tree and I am now thinking that this is going to take more than my two hour estimate. I have a lot of ornaments, some dating back to the early 60's (of course those belong to my older sister) so I am trying to be careful taking them off. About 50 ornaments into the un-decorating I start pulling them as hard as I can. I just don't care anymore. I can buy more hooks next year. And if those really old ornaments have lasted this long, they should be ok. And I can hear in the background the X box street racing game.
5 hours and 26 minutes later I have all of the ornaments removed. Now it is time to take the tree apart. Not too difficult, for goodness sake it is only three pieces. I bought this handy bag for tree storage. I splurged at 50% off and got the one with wheels. The wheels come in handy later. I start to take the top off the tree. Ok well it didn't come off as easy as it went on, so I slide the chair over and think to myself, well if I can just stand on the edge and balance I can get up high enough to lift the top off. I get one foot in the chair and the other on the foot rest of the chair and start to lift the top. I lift and pull with all of my might, I am glistening at this point. (We glisten in the south, we don’t sweat) All of the sudden I fall on the tree. Hanging on to the top with one foot landing on the hearth and the other dangling in the air.
Silence…… the street racing game is no longer blaring, shaking the walls in my house. I hear a little voice say, "Mom are you OK?" Of course I said "yes", because well I just really didn't want anyone to see me. Hoping he would just stay in the den and continue his game. It reminded me of that Ally McBeal episode where the girl falls on the tree and just hangs there hoping no one will notice. I lean over towards the hearth and manage to get both feet grounded. I think I will try again. I get the stepstool. I know you are sitting there thinking that this is what I should have done in the first place, but I know that you have tried to balance on a chair. Don't act like you haven't. I was already behind schedule for the time that I had allotted for un-decorating.
I get the first section taken apart and I put it over by the handy little bag with wheels. I start to take the second section off, from now on we will call it sec 2. I am on the step stool again and this sec 2 is not coming off. I realize that there are lights that go from sec 2 to section 3, (we will call that sec 3) off the stool I go. Unplug the lights all 10 strands and start to lift sec 2. Well apparently these sections (sec 2 and sec 3) just slide together when you assemble the tree, but there is a bear claw type feature that keeps them together from that point forward. It is not as if sec 2 is going to jump up and run down the hall without sec 3. There is no way that these two pieces are coming apart. I cannot get the sections (sec 2 and sec 3) apart!!! I am getting angry trying to remember why it was that I even thought we needed a Christmas tree in the first place.
I have now put sec 2 and sec 3 on their sides they are laying on the floor. Law me, I am just glad that we went artificial and there is no water in the tree stand. I am pulling sec 2 from sec 3. I am sitting in the floor pulling sec 2 with my hands and pushing sec 3 with my feet. Hearing those squealing tire noises from the other room. I decide that there must be a better way, I push sec 2 and sec 3 over to the side get up off the floor and think {it just can't be this hard} I calm myself down and take a deep breath. Still glistening, OK I was sweating. I think there must be a latch or something, well there was. Ok it is one thing to laugh with me…..I undo the latch, I don't remember seeing it before. So now the tree is in the tree sections.
Now all I have to do is put it into the handy rolling bag that I am ever so proud of. HA HA HA. It doesn't fit! It will, it just doesn’t in it’s current state. These branches need to be flatter than they are. Much more compact. So I think all I need to do is wrap some rope around them and pull them in a little. I go outside in the cold the storage room to get the rope. It was ok that it was cold outside because I have worked up a glisten getting the sections of the tree apart. I open the storage room door expecting to see the rope on the shelf where it should be. Shocked, because everyone always puts things back in the proper place, gasp, the rope was not there. I really didn’t think it would be there. I am thinking where else could the rope be, now this is not a tiny spool of rope. It is huge, and heavy, I have had it around for years and have never lost it. It reminds me of one of those spools that you see people make a picnic table out of. Maybe that is just the slightest bit of an exaggeration, but it is big.
I call the oldest Lacka and cannot get him. So I look around. Can't find it, but I find this spool of red curly ribbon. You know that real tough ribbon that you need a pocket knife to cut. Knowing how strong that stuff is, and well, it was red, I thought it would compliment the tree. So I form this combination slipknot Tayside, Roeder, Melzer (modified Roeder), Cross square, and Blood knots, I was really proud of myself. Yeah, OK, I had to look that up. It was really just my version of a slip knot, I wrap the ribbon around the bottom of the tree and pull the ribbon thru the loop, hey it was working the tree was getting smaller, narrower, almost svelte. Yep I was smiling. Well about that time that dang ribbon broke and my fist went flying and I thought I had broken my cheek bone.
Not smiling anymore I began to drag the sections towards the door. The pieces were heavy. I threw all three sections fat and fluffy on the tree bag and wheeled the tree right down the steps. Nothing is zipped, nothing is bagged. Just lying to top of the bag as if it were a magic carpet. I pushed the bag and pieces out the door, the wheels enabled the bag and tree pieces to make it down the steps a little easier. The bag continued down the steps, curved a bit to the right and landed neatly at the edge of my carport.
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The views/opinions in this post are mine.Do not copy,or distribute without my consent.
Copied with Crackah's consent.
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StewartM
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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2007 06:19 pm |
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macca wrote: Mike/Jimbo -- Did your relatives at least wrap up a different set of gifts for your birthday, digging out the birthday wrapping paper amidst all of the Christmas wrap? ♥♥♥ One wrap, one gift.....tag did say from Santa and friends......I didn't know until a few years ago that Santa didn't deliver birthday presents too.....
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FatPappy
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| Joined: | Oct 25th, 2005 |
| Location: | Summerfield, USA |
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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2007 10:20 pm |
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| Lacka, I'm not coot cacklin' at you, I'm coot cacklin' with you! Hee hee!
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How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four; calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
--Abraham Lincoln
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Steve Adkins
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| Joined: | Oct 14th, 2005 |
| Location: | Summerfield |
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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2007 11:27 pm |
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Vicki White-Lawrence wrote: Steve Adkins wrote: the one other favorite story this week was about the airline passenger getting upset and slapping another passenger, who happened to be a federal marshall for the flight............be careful who you upset when you're upset. Scott's niece and her family flew to Orlando to visit her husband's family during the holiday. She said that she was seated by a passenger who had obviously had too much to drink, but the crew served him more alcohol. He passed out on her -- she had to keep pushing his head off of her, and tried to shield her young daughter from him. He spilled her soft drink on her, staggered along the aisle to and from the bathroom and opened several bags from the overhead compartment b/c he couldn't remember which one was his. She said the flight was packed so she couldn't ask the crew to move her or him.... I think she should lodge a complaint with the airline!
Vicki, I don't blame you one bit for feeling this way, but it would probably be a waste of ink. They'll send you of of the bland "we regret your inconvenience" letters.
The airlines are obviously overwhelmed during this period of time.......course they seem overwhelmed during all periods of time. The industry is just flat out of control.
They can't seem to get a plane in the air on time, land and get to the gate on time, and then they can't get luggage delivered on time.
It's sad to see an industry where it seems all the employees hate their jobs.
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DOGGETTJA
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| Joined: | Oct 24th, 2005 |
| Location: | Summerfield |
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 01:49 am |
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| Lacka- I am so glad you didn't fall and break anything. What a funny funny story. I can see you hanging there with one foot dangling. I do hope your spouse gets home and knows where the rope is.
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DOGGETTJA
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 01:53 am |
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| My very worst experience on a plane was flying back from Palau to Guam with no passport ( that's another story) sitting next to a guy from Indonesia. Cleanliness and especially brushing teeth was not something he considered next to godliness. Four and a half hours of having him turn towards me and breathe in my directions was almost more than I could stand. It is hard to hold your breath for that long a period of time.
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macca
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 11:04 am |
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GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY!!!!
Lacka!! I waited around as long as I could yesterday, figuring you might share another gem with us!! Sorry I couldn't wait, but it was just as good when I read it late last night!! As Pappy said, we're not laughing AT you, (feet flyin' in the air and all!) we're laughing WITH you!!! ♥♥♥
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A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright
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macca
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 11:11 am |
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FatPappy wrote:
A M&M salad! That's what I need!
Uh-oh...I might need to call the Macca Support Hotline fer that'n. Pappy's bein' tempted by chocolate. (In other words, Pappy's awake.)
PAPPY! STEP AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE!!!!
(and then send it to me! I'll stash it for later when we can celebrate our successes!! )
How are you doing with your new friends, Fruits and Veggies???
I'm starting my new program the same day I always do -- TOMORROW!!
ACtually, I did pretty well yesterday, if you don't count those two luscious rich chocolate truffles! I also need to drink more water!!!
Do you realize that we won't recognize each other if we ever meet???? ♥♥♥
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A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright
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summerfieldrd
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 11:26 am |
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| Lacka, how's the black eye this morning?
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The only constant in the universe is change.
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Jim Flynt
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 11:59 am |
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macca wrote: FatPappy wrote:
A M&M salad! That's what I need!
Uh-oh...I might need to call the Macca Support Hotline fer that'n. Pappy's bein' tempted by chocolate. (In other words, Pappy's awake.)
PAPPY! STEP AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE!!!!
Macca, shouldn't that be written as:
PAPPY! STEP AWAY FROM THAT CHOCOLATE AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE WE CAN SEE 'EM
(I'm not suggesting that Pappy would ever step away from chocolate with his hands full but we must take into consideration such possibilities)
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I Did It My Way (Frank Sinatra)
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FatPappy
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 12:10 pm |
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macca wrote:
Do you realize that we won't recognize each other if we ever meet???? ♥♥♥
I prob'ly won't recognize my feet either. Pappy ain't laid eyes on the critters in 20 yars! Hee hee!
____________________
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four; calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
--Abraham Lincoln
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Lacka
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 12:42 pm |
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DOGGETTJA wrote: Four and a half hours of having him turn towards me and breathe in my directions was almost more than I could stand. It is hard to hold your breath for that long a period of time. Jane you could have held your nose and used your snorkel. Did you forget to pack it?
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Lacka
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 12:45 pm |
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summerfieldrd wrote: Lacka, how's the black eye this morning? yeah yeah yeah sfrd, it is fine
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Jim Flynt
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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2007 12:54 pm |
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Lacka I didn't know you were so experienced in dismantling er, I mean, undecorating Christmas trees of their lights and ornaments.
Have you ever thought of going to work for Tanglewood as Manager of their Christmas trees, lights and decorations? Of course, you may well be over qualified!
Lacka, I'd invite you up to help me undecorate about 250 trees but you might embarrass this neophyte with all of your new found decorating talent.
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I Did It My Way (Frank Sinatra)
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