Dear Piged out in Summerfield,

I know that you were hoping on a response that would find a way to allow you to eat bacon, and you might get a response like that, one day, when pigs fly.  This entire question is hogwash, and if you think I will not squeal on you then you are mistaken.

 I have a couple of suggestions for you.  You must remember, I tend to agree with Mrs. Piged out in Summerfield on this subject.  I don't mean to sound like a boar, but.....there seems to be more here than what meets the sty.

There are a few products on the market that can help you out.

To solve the problem of waking up and missing the smell of bacon, try these air freshners.

You can use these in the house, pig up truck, or office.

To solve the problem of withdrawl, use these bacon bandaids.  They work much like the nicotine patch.  Now don't wollow in your sorrow for the missing bacon.  You are going to have to find some other things that you would like to eat to replace the bacon.  My suggestions would be Sow-r dough bread covered in a good quality sow sauce,  accompanied by a nice glass of red swine.

Apply the bacon on your head for best results.  If you want you can add a little oinkment under the bandaid.

You are going to have to come up with some activities to keep your mind off of the bacon.  You could read a book, Hamlet might be a good choice for you.  Take Mrs. Piged out in Summerfield on a nice pignic, or spend a little time in the ham hock.  If you are looking for a good physical activity, mud wrestling might work.  Enjoy the Ballet, Swine Lake is featured in your area this week.  What about picking up a musical talent, a pigcussion instrument might be just what you are looking for.

 Fot those late night cravings I have heard of this show that they air late night.  It is called PIGS GONE WILD. 

Good luck Piged out in Summerfield, I would bet the piggy bank that you can do this.

Hogs and kisses to everyone,

Lacka

Lacka... I was just tickled PINK over that sow-lution to Pigged out's problem!

Crackah

What do you do when a pig looses his tail?

Take him to the re tail store. 

HAHAHAHAAH I crack me up.

Here's some for you Lacka!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you call a pig with no legs???

A GROUND HOG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A pig walks into a bar and asks for 3 glasses of Coke, he drinks and drinks and drinks and when he's finished he asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender tells him it's down there on the left and the pig goes off to the bathroom.
Then a second little pig walks in and asks for 10 glasses of Coke, he drinks and drinks and drinks and when he's finished he asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender tells him it's down there on the left and the pig goes off to the bathroom.
Then another little pig comes in and asks for 100 glasses of Coke, he drinks and drinks and drinks and drinks and drinks. The bartender says "Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?
The pig says "No, I'm the little pig that goes wee wee wee all the way home."

I crack me up more!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Words of wisdom from a PIG

I feel like we need a psy - cow - a trist

AWWWWWWW STEVE!!!   Too funny!!

Atwhay oday ouyay eanmay evestay? Owhay boutay ay igchologistpay?

Some how I find Jacob's Spanish-speak, Pappy's BackWoods-Speak, Mike's Bacon-Speak, even Kris's Band-Speak easier to understand than either Lack's Pig-Speak, or Lacka's PigLatin-Speak.

Idday a'llyay eesay atwhay illbay ostedpay overay onay ethay eadyray otay otevay orumfay???  eeTay eehay!!!

(Did ya'll see what bill posted over on the ready to vote forum? Tee hee!)

You know, you people are really great.  If we received any more for this basket thing, we'd have to rent a UHaul to Haul it!!!  I took pics.  Will share them when I get the word from Patti that everything's in. Might have to get that UHaul after all.

Thanks everyone!!!!!